Getting to Know my Characters

I've always been interested in who people really are and the darker side of human nature. I love creating characters; thinking about what makes them tick. It fascinates me. When an author friend of mine, Nicci Cloke, (who also writes under the name Phoebe Locke) recommended a service called Characters on the Couch run by an experienced psychotherapist, Arabel Charlaff - who also worked in publishing beforehand as a literary consultant, editor and ghost-writer - I was intrigued.

On a sunny spring day a few years ago, I went to therapy. As I took the seat opposite Arabel, my nerves and the expected self-consciousness vanished and I found myself talking, relishing the thought of digging deep to see what I could discover about my protagonist. I had told Nicci that I didn't think I would be able to see it through. 'You'll be surprised,' she assured me because she 'went to therapy' for her book: The Tall Man. She was right. It was easy, worryingly so.

As I dissected and recounted my sad and unusual background, I became caught up in the feelings and emotions of my twisted and disturbed main character. So much so, that I had a momentary spike of fear mid-session. I stopped to reassure Arabel that 'I didn't really think in that way'! (Honestly). I wasn't plotting the downfall of a supposed rival or simmering with great rage or envy and directing it all at an unsuspecting person. Beforehand, I had imagined that time would pass slowly. I had pictured a clock on the wall (I don't recall seeing one) with the hands ticking painfully slowly. Instead, I was surprised at how swiftly time passed.

Arabel provides a rich, detailed and in-depth report of her analysis after the session which is an invaluable tool and something I referred back to often because it was so insightful. As well as basic information about the character like age, employment and living arrangements, subjects such as trauma history, past and current significant relationships/support networks and anything else which came up in the session are covered.

The idea for Juliette, a sociopathic flight attendant in my first book, a thriller called The Perfect Girlfriend, came to me while I worked as cabin crew. After a flight, I would change out of my uniform before I caught public transport home. (Passengers would often ask me for directions or information and I have a really bad sense of direction). I recall feeling a strong sense of returning to anonymity on one such occasion and it made me think... what if someone was deliberately changing their mindset, rather than engaging in the usual switch from a work persona to a personal one? I believe it was then that the seeds for Juliette were sown.

I also had an image of her (this is not in the book) walking down a residential street early on a winter's evening. As Juliette walked along the pavement, I imagined her peering into homes where the curtains had not yet been drawn, longing to be a part of their cosy worlds, yet knowing, deep down, that she would, in all likelihood, (given her background) never achieve it.

I returned for another Characters on the Couch Session for my next thriller: The Last Wife. My main character, Marie, is lonely and craves the perceived security and normality of family life. When her oldest and closest friend, Nina, (a mother with two young children) passes away, Marie steps in and takes over her deceased friend's life. She later discovers that she didn't know her friend quite as well as she had assumed.

After reading through both reports, I felt that a sense of identity and a desire to belong feature in varying ways in my books. I moved countries a lot as a young child and went to many different schools and I wonder (although I don't know) whether in some way I am drawing on my early experience of figuring how to fit in to new social situations.

Psychoanalysis interests me greatly, so much so, that I also attended Arabel's five day course at the Faber Academy: Who Do You Think They Are? Getting into Character. The aim of the course is to equip writers with with some of the basic psychoanalytic theories. Not only was it brilliant to revisit Faber Academy (where I had completed their 'Writing a Novel' course back in 2014), I learned so much from Arabel and everyone else who attended the course.

Partly as a result, therapy features in The Last Wife because my protagonist - a wedding photographer named Marie - struggles to make sense of her unwise past decisions and the life situation in which she finds herself trapped. The idea for Marie came to me when I was starting a local book-club with some friends. I wondered what it would be like to try and integrate into an already established community while craving acceptance and the idea of Marie, on the outskirts, watching and waiting for her moment to become a permanent part of her desired life, came to life in my mind.

I plan to attend another session for my next thriller. I already partly know the main character (age, what she wants, why she's going the wrong way about getting it) and will let her develop organically for a few more months before I book a session to delve deeper. At the moment, her name is Angeline, but I will see if that particular name sticks once I know her and her scheming ways better. I can't wait to see how she develops...

First published 20th October 2019 on booksbywomen.org